I Can't Go On Without You
by koolioettetheweirdo
Summary: Bella never jumped off the cliff, and tried her best to move on in life, although he still lies in her heart, and always will, forever. She knows now that she needs him, and wants him back. Mid new-moonish. Better summary inside. STORY NOW COMPLETE.
1. Realization

**I Can't Go On Without You by koolioettetheweirdo**

This is a short little story written for absolutely no reason at all, besides the fact that I couldn't get this idea out of my head and had to write it. It's approximately four chapters long. I hope you all like it.

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**Bella never jumped off the cliff, and tried her best to move on in life, although he still lies in her heart, and always will, forever. Her relationship with the wolf pack has become very strong, and Jacob hasn't told her how he feels about her yet. She is spending the day shopping with Angela, her only one true friend. They are at a mall in Port Angeles, and Bella enters a toy store, hoping to buy a birthday present for little Claire, who is now turning three. What happens when something she sees causes her to miss Edward more than she could ever imagine? Unable to face the truth that he left her because he didn't want her, she is shocked beyond belief.**

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**Yeah, I suck at summaries, but it's better than it seems. I think.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight Saga, Stephenie Meyer does.**

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BPOV

I woke up to yet another morning of rain, much too common in this wet little town. Today is Saturday, and I promised Angela I would go to Port Angeles with her to look for a dress for the spring dance she was going to with her boyfriend Ben.

I, on the other hand, wasn't going. And why would I? It's not that no one asked me to go though, Mike and Jake both did, actually, but I was never one for dancing. Ever.

The only time I ever danced at a school dance was … nevermind.

*Sigh*

Today was going to be another boring day, even if my plans _were_ different from my normal routine of just waking up, going to school, trying my best to get good grades, then heading over to Jake's for awhile.

I stumbled out of bed, and went to the bathroom to wash up. After I was finished, I quickly changed into some comfy clothes, and headed on downstairs to make myself breakfast.

Charlie had gone fishing with Billy, again. He had told me last night that it was so I could take some more time out with Angela tonight, but he'd be fishing with Billy whether I had plans, or not. I could've hung out with Jake, anyways.

I quickly washed the bowl, spoon and cup I had used for my simple breakfast of cereal and a glass of orange juice, and left the house, grabbing my coat and keys on the way.

I climbed into my truck and turned the ignition, ignoring the loud roar of the engine. It was old; this was normal.

I made my way over to Angela's house, and rang the doorbell. She opened the door quickly after and smiled at me, silently thanking me for coming along today. She grabbed her keys, and we got into her little blue mini cooper.

We drove down to Port Angeles, chatting a bit about school, her boyfriend Ben, and random little topics that came to mind. When she asked how I'd been doing with Jacob, and if we were together, I simply shook my head, and laughed.

"We're just friends, Ang."

"Are you sure, Bella? He seems to like you. A lot." She asked, turning to look at me questioningly before returning her attention to the road.

"Yes, I'm sure. We're just really good friends." I answered warily, not wanting to keep the topic about me.

Luckily, Angela understood I didn't want to talk about me anymore, and changed the radio station to some recent hip-hip song I didn't know.

A half hour later, we reached the small shopping centre Angela wanted to go to, and she parked her little mini cooper into a parking space. We got out, and walked into the mall.

I was shocked to see so many people in this little building. Angela laughed beside me, telling me it wasn't far from prom; that girls were already starting their searches for that perfect prom dress. I nodded, and walked into the first dress store Angela was staring at.

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Dress shopping was never my thing. Actually, shopping in general has never been my thing. After looking at dozens and dozens of dresses, Angela found a cute teal strapless dress that went down to her knees and accented her brown curls well. **(picture on profile)**

We had a light lunch at the food court, and then separated so that she could look for some nice shoes and accessories.

I decided to look at the toy store, and get little Claire a birthday present. She was turning three next week, and Emily had invited me over to her house where she would be having a little celebration party with the pack and them. I still find it strange how Quil imprinted on her, since she _is _only two years old. But they were just so darn cute together; he was like a big brother to her, a _really _big brother.

I walked into the toy store, and started looking around at the stuffed animals. Perhaps Claire would like a little monkey, or giraffe, or … _wolf. _I laughed to myself, and picked up the little stuffed elephant. It was so cute. I really think she'd like this one. I smiled, and started walking over to the cash register when I heard a little girl talking about - _was I hearing this wrong?_ - vampires, good vampires.

"No hunny, vampires _aren't good, _sweetie"

I turned to see a little girl with blonde hair and hazel eyes pick up a "The Count" doll from Sesame Street.

"See momma? Vampires _can_ be good. The Count taught me how to count on Sesame Street last year, remember?" The little girl said stubbornly. She obviously wasn't going to give up until her mom believed her.

Her mother rolled her eyes, and agreed with her daughter, then dragged her over to look at some other dolls.

I couldn't believe it. Even a little girl could think a _vampire_ was _good._ It didn't take her more than three seconds to object to her mother when she told her that vampires were bad.

No matter what the species, there were good _and _bad.

All I could think about was _him_.

Edward.

_Edward._

EDWARD.

**EDWARD CULLEN**.

I dropped the stuffed elephant, and ran out of store as fast as I could.

I felt the tears start to form in my eyes, and then faster than ever before, they started falling down my face.

I was sobbing, as I slowed to a walk, and then fell to my knees on the ground.

I couldn't take it anymore.

I missed him. I missed him _a lot_. I needed him. I needed him _now._

Realization hit me like a hard slap on the cheek.

_I can't live without him. Not anymore._

I couldn't even think to call Angela's cell and ask her to come find me.

I just stayed there, kneeling on the cold hard floor of the mall, and cried.

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**So what did you think? Good? Bad? Terrible? Sad? Not sad enough? Review either way!**

**Chapter two coming really soon. It's already written, just needs to be re-read and edited. **


	2. Might As Well Take A Chance

**Might As Well Take A Chance**

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**WOW, thank you to everyone for reading and reviewing chapter 1; and for putting this on your alerts/favourites. You make me want to update sooner, so, here you go.**

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**Okay, so Bella realizes she **_**needs**_** Edward, and that he **_**has to**_** come back. Now lets see if he's ready to come back to Forks, shall we?**

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**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or Edward. Stephenie Meyer does.**

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EPOV

The days pass so quickly yet so slowly. The same thoughts flow through my mind. The same face. The same girl. _Bella._ Her name lies on my tongue like the sting of a bee. I can't get her beautiful face, her beautiful voice, nor her beautiful smile off my mind.

I saw her, confused and annoyed, as I tried to first interact with her in biology class.

I remember her, as she lay with me in the soft meadow.

I dazzled her, as we kissed for the first time.

I put her in danger, as she was put near the nomadic ones.

I saved her, as he almost killed her before my very own eyes.

I promised her that I would be there for her, that I would love her forever.

I made it seem like I broke my promise. But I never did.

I still love her. Still want her. Still think of her.

I _want _to protect her. I _want_ to be with her.

But I can't.

I am a monster.

I am too dangerous to be around her.

I could _kill_ her.

She isn't _safe_ around me. Not at all.

She'd be better off with a human. Any human.

She deserves better than to be with a monster like myself. Than to have no other choice.

She is a human; she will forgive and forget. She can fall in and _out_ of love. She can forget _me._ She can stop loving _me._ She can move on.

But I can't do it any longer.

I can't just hide away here.

I can't stay away from her.

I want her, and not just my thirst for her blood.

I need her.

She was and is the most important thing in my long, unimportant life.

My family has been hurt just as much as everyone else in this situation.

I have hurt everyone.

I have hurt _her._

I still _love her._

I can still _prove to her _that _I love her._

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But what if its too late?

What if she _has_ moved on?

What if I am no longer the one that she loves?

What if I was right all along, and she was never meant to be with me?

She must be alive, and healthy, and happy by now.

What would be the point in returning to that small town if she _truly had moved on_?

Would I merely return here, and gloom over the loss of her prescene?

Or would _I _move on?

The only way for _I _to move on would be the most harsh and ludicrous. Death.

But was death necessary?

Maybe she _does_ still love me.

Maybe it's not too late to go back to her.

I'm living in hell anyway,

I might as well …

Might as well take a chance.

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**There we go. How was it? **

**I may extend this longer than four chapters, I don't know yet.**

**Review Review Review! (:**


	3. Am I Dreaming?

**Am I Dreaming?**

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**Thanks so much for the reviews and for putting this story on your favourites/alerts. It makes me so happy.**

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**Now, we're back to Bella at the mall, and she's uhm still crying.**

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**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or Edward Cullen, or Robert Pattinson. How depressing.**

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BPOV

I don't know how long I sat there crying.

I had eventually fallen from my knees to merely sitting there on the hard cold floor of the mall in front of the many eyes of the public. Sure enough, they stared and whispered as they walked by, probably gossiping, or making fun of me for crying here.

But I didn't hear a single word of what anyone said about me.

I didn't see a single eye stare at me.

Because I never looked up. I never listened.

All I could think about was _him._ _Edward Cullen. _

I could see his face flashing through my mind. Those glorious, smouldering, golden orbs that were his eyes. That beautiful, crooked smile.

I could hear his voice, whispering to me. Encouraging me. Telling me to get up.

_Bella, love, get up._

_Bella, people are staring, get up, love._

_Bella. Bella, Please stop crying._

_Love, I'm here, get up. I love you._

I put my face in my hands, and sobbed even harder.

I continued to cry, and then felt a hand rest gently on my shoulder.

I looked up and saw him. _Edward. _

My jaw dropped. He was even more beautiful right now than I had remembered.

He gave me his signature crooked smile, and wiped a tear off my cheek.

_This can't really be happening. It must be a dream. He left me. I'm imagining things._

I looked up at him again, and opened my mouth to say something but no words could escape. I was speechless.

_I had to be dreaming. That or I was hallucinating._

He looked down at me, seeming unsure, and I smiled at him. I had missed him, so much.

I continued to stare at him in confusion. _Is this a dream?_

He looked into me eyes, trying to figure out what was coursing through my mind. He looked sympathetic, loving, and … sad?

_This is just a dream. There's no way he's actually here. I must be dreaming._

"Am I dr-dreaming?" I hadn't even thought to say this aloud, and only realized I had once I saw him look at me, emotions flickering through his eyes: confusion, frustration, disappoint, sadness, understanding … love.

"No, Bella. You're not dreaming, love" He whispered. His velvety voice seemed to be even softer than I remembered.

He gave me another crooked smile, and I became utterly baffled.

_Am I just dreaming? Or is he really back?_

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**I know that was sorta kinda short, but I liked it.**

**I must've edited this at least ten times before I finally posted it.**

**Anyways, I hope you guys like it.**

**REMEMBER TO REVIEW! It makes me happy, very happy. (:**


	4. He Still Loves Me

**He Still Loves Me**

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**Okay, I know, I haven't updated in three days; please don't kill me. I've been really busy with stupid schoolwork, so take it easy, alright? And once again, thank you everyone for reading, reviewing, favourite-ing, or subscribing to this story. It means so much to me, really, thank you.**

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**This is chapter four, last chapter, and its longer than the others. But there _will_ be an epilogue. I promise. I hope you all like the ending to this.**

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**Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight Saga; that lovely series is by the talented Stephenie Meyer. I don't own Edward, or any of her characters, nor do I get to own Robert Pattinson, Taylor Luatner (thank the lord he is in new moon), or Cam Gigandet, I know, life just isn't fair.**

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**EPOV**

How could she look so hurt and alone? Had she really been that miserable while I had been gone. I know I had, but she … she deserved much better than this. Than to be lying there on the cold floor, crying her heart out because of me. _Me_. The monster.

What could I have possibly done in my long life to possibly deserve her? She was so beautiful, and now she was sobbing because of what I had done. How could I have caused my Bella so much pain and misery?

I walked closer to her, and put my hand on her shoulder, waiting for her to look up and see me.

I continued to stare at her as she cried, until she finally looked up so her eyes met mine. It had seemed like a lifetime since I had looked into those deep chestnut brown orbs, but it was probably just months since I had last had that chance. Since I stormed out of her life, lying to myself that it would be better for her if I left her, and now only to return to Washington, and to come to this mall in search of her, knowing she would be here with Angela because of the urgent phone call I had received from Alice hours ago.

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I had made up my mind that I would go see Bella, again. That I would whatever I could to make her mine again, because I couldn't live without her.

It took me awhile to realize that my cell-phone was ringing continuously. I flipped it open, and saw that Alice was calling me. Pressing, "send", I answered her call only to hear a slew of words pushed at me all at once. I never even had the chance to say "hello".

"EDWARD! I just KNEW you would come to your senses sooner or later. I'm so disappointed that it took you this long to realize that you can't live without her. I saw you driving back to Forks to see her, and then I saw her going to Port Angeles for the day with Angela. They're at the small shopping centre at the Livingston and Ramble intersection. Hurry! You don't have much time! They must be already on their way there by now! You're two states away, hurry!!"

She didn't even need to take the time to breathe after she finished speaking.

"Thanks Alice, I'm on my way." I quickly, replied.

And with that, I dashed into my Volvo and drove way past the notorious speed limits of this country.

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I smiled down at my love, and saw that the tears that had been flowing down her face had now slowed to a mere few tears on each cheek. Slowly, I wiped the last of her tears away, and smiled down at my Bella.

She was so _beautiful._

And then she opened her mouth so to speak, but no words came out. I had half expected her to yell at me; for her to be furious with me for storming out of her life and returning _now._ But she never said anything; she just stared at me. Was she shocked to see me? Did she not _want_ to see me? Or was she just unable to think of anything to say about my sudden re-appearance?

This time when she opened her mouth, she spoke, loud and clear for someone who had just been crying her heart out; "am I dr-dreaming?"

She had stuttered, a nervous habit. But wait! Why in the hell did she think she was dreaming? How could she be? Did she not want me back? What was I doing ruining her life again?! She probably didn't love me anymore, and I had to understand that. She could do whatever it is that she wanted, I love her, and I'm not about to let my angel cry again.

"No, love, you're not dreaming. I'm really here."

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**BPOV**

I can't believe it. Edward Cullen is here with me, and I'm _not_ dreaming.

Was this for real? Did he really come back to me, or did he just so happen to already be here and saw me crying?

I looked at him with confusion written all over my face, and he seemed to understand.

"That's right, love. You're _not_ dreaming, Bella. I'm here, and I love you. I have _always _loved you, and always will. When I left you, I wanted you to be safe. I didn't want to put you in any more danger. But I was wrong. Without you, my life was like the Egyptian deserts without wind, like the night stars without the light of the moon. I missed you terribly, Bella. And I'm here to stay now."

If this really was just some really lively dream, it was a darn happy one at that. It was like a princess who finally got her dream come true, with her prince charming there to save her from the monster of loneliness and misery. If it weren't a dream, I would really have my Edward back, here to love me and protect me.

But was this _really_ not a dream? There was only one way to find out.

Nervously, I reached my hand forward and pulled him closer to me, before lightly pushing my lips to his. I could feel his cool, marble lips next to mine and kissed him feverishly, wanting more. This _was_ real. He really _was_ back, and he really _love_ me.

Breaking the kiss, and leaning my forward to his, I smiled.

_He still loves me. And he's back, for good._

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**aww, they're back together now, isn't that great? (:**

**I hope everyone liked this chapter. There will be an epilogue that I will be posting by Monday. **

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW, please! **


	5. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

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**Edward and Bella are back together, yay!**

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**Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing this story. And for putting it on your favourites/alerts; I really appreciate it. But come on people, I only got 1 review for the last chapter. That really sucks. ):**

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**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, that's Stephenie Meyer's. And I don't own Rob, Cam, or the now extremely ripped Taylor. This sucks.**

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**For some reason, this song reminds me of this story a lot:**

**Where were you?  
When everything was falling apart.  
All my days spent by the telephone.  
And all I needed was a call  
It never came**

**Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me  
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded  
Why'd you have to wait?  
Where were you? Where were you?  
Just a little late.  
You found me, you found me.**

**-- You Found Me (The Fray) **

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**Sorry for the super long author's note.**

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BPOV

It's been three weeks since Edward returned. That night, as I cried my heart out at the Port Angeles shopping centre, a lot of very important events had happened.

First, I had an epiphany. Edward Cullen loved me, and only left me because he was trying to protect me. He said he'd always love me, that he'd never leave me. And he had always been overprotective. But the most important thing that I realized that night was that I couldn't live without him. I couldn't have kept lying to myself and trying to get over him, because it just wouldn't have ever happened. Ever.

Second, I was trying to find a birthday present for little Claire, and ended up seeing a "The Count" doll from Sesame Street. This had led to my epiphany from above. And it also caused me to break down in front of many people at the mall. I had cried my heart out right there in the hallway.

Third, when I had looked up, my eyes had met with those beautiful golden orbs that I had never expected to see again in my life. He was back. And I couldn't believe it. I _didn't_ believe it. Not until he kissed me, that is. Then I knew it was real. There was nothing more real to me at that moment.

After he'd kissed me, he'd picked me up and we found Angela where she had been waiting for a long time. She was shocked to see him, to see _us_. I merely smiled at her, silently promising to tell her the details later. She drove home in her car alone, whole Edward drove me back to Forks. On the way back, we talked about everything from the past few months. He'd apologized so many times I lost count, and we understood that both of us had been miserable when lacking the other's presence. When we reached me house, he got out with me, and went in to talk to Charlie.

Charlie had been so angry at first, that I thought he was going to explode, right then and there. But he didn't. Slowly, his anger faded away into frustration, disappointment, sadness, then finally, _finally_ understanding and love.

It was already late at that point, so I had been dismissed to go up to my room and turn in for the night. Edward came in, and tucked me in to bed, persuading me to sleep, since he knew how tired I was. I must say, it took a lot of persuasion.

Our relationship picked up from where it left off, going a bit slow at first, but now, after three weeks, it was as if the past few months never existed. _As if he next left me._

And I was just as happy as ever.

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**Yay! Happily ever after!**

**REVIEW PEOPLE! I KNOW HOW MANY OF YOU READ THIS, THERES HUNDREDS A DAY SOMETIMES, SO YOU SEE THAT BUTTON DOWN THERE? YEAH, CLICK IT AND REVIEW, BECAUSE THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE FOR THIS STORY. pleasseee reviewww. (:**

**-- koolioettetheweirdo**


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